The Newfies have solved their own fuel problems
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.
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Me buddy’s missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said,
"Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."
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Newfoundlanders find a mirror in the road. The first one picks it up and says, "Lard Jasus, I knows this face but I can't put a name to it."
The second picks it up and says, "You stupid bastard, it's me!"
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